Hospital Highlights

I know you must be thinking, looking at the title like what, is that possible. Well yes it is, where I stayed it wasn’t your typical traditional ward, there was separate rooms for dining in, where we ate all our meals, a TV room to watch your programmes granted you would have to work out the time slots, which sometimes got blurred so wasn’t granted every time, so would either catch up the next day via the apps on my iPad or wait until I was home, as hospital wi-fi was slow, or drop off completely. But can’t complain as it was free wifi, like I said it wasn’t your typical ward. Oh forgot to say I’m home now, returned back Friday evening. I was in neurological rehab for four weeks, completed the multi-disciplinary rehabilitation programme for functional neurological symptoms. It’s mouthful isn’t it, I will focus more about the actual programme in different blog post, might even share some of my goals if I’m feeling in the opening sharing mood. As it’s important to bring awareness, on FND. However adjusting to real life, won’t lie is bit tricky, I was warned to give myself two weeks to adjust by the Doctor on the ward. So thought it be nice time to look back on good times, crazy times, the not so great times but still had running joke linked to it. And the bonds I made with people whilst there, that will continue on.Β 

Following pics are the view from my window, I always loved looking into the square (garden), watching the world go by, escapism, prime estate of London (Central London), funny thing is there is no way I could afford to stay there, a hotel, live there, way too expensive, so I felt even special just staying there, no word of lie, just keeping it real, minus the fact I was in hospital though, minor detail, lets look above that, haha. Although having scalfolding, builders everyday was NOT a highlight.

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Why is me having ice pack in pillow sack a highlight, well after having non epileptic seizures falling off the bed, my body, my knees was more painful at the time. Getting ice pack, getting it in the freezer, then getting the actual ice pack would take ages, so in the end the nurse was like just keep it with you, if and when you need it, instead of running around trying to find one, waiting around for each step.

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I do apologise for the poor quality, my phone didn’t want to work with me, plus trying to sneak a pic in without staff noticing, I was busy being my own pap, a rubbish one for my own sketch, placed on a wall.

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Incase anybody didn’t know, I let them know, this wardrobe right here is mine, it was just so people didn’t get confused, and I didn’t, as I can get easily confused, so making things familiar was big thing for me.

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My last night, may have had accident, pulled down the curtains by accident, whilst trying to close the curtains, it may of fell off, and may of had one curtain at the end of my bed, making my room very pinterest, interiors dream, just adding that flare.

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What real bedside table/drawers looks like in hospital, with splash of me, from must haves, to having things that’s familiar, things I like, as it was important to make it my safe haven, the cards was on my last days.

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The laughter we had. Getting to know people, making friends. You know it’s not pic, if not making silly faces πŸ˜‰

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My farewell/ birthday celebration meal, ladies from my room treated me/us, it was funny getting pizza delivery to hospital ward, we had giggle about it, really nice as it was dead on 7 days before my actual birthday. The food went down a treat πŸ™‚

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Without getting out of character being mushy, haha. Never would have thought I would make bonds, let alone one so tight, that we clicked straight away, we got each other, and we was part of each others stay. Was defiantly huge part of my highlight, thank you Jody.

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Theres more I could add, but you get the gist of it, don’t wanna bore you too much. Those who made my stay easier, know who they are, and ofcourse the staff as well.

Hope you liked my summary of my highlights of my hospital stay.

 

 

Friends??

First of all apologise for my loopysos being bit more dodgy than usual. Currently have dodgy right arm/hand due to me injuring it during dissociative seizure, I’ve aggravated the nerve causing extra pains, yeah… During my confused state couple weeks ago. I will speak more on what dissociative seizures are, and the type of non epileptic seizures I personally have, and what I’ve learnt from the programme, follow up of my inpatient experience in neuro rehab for functional neurological disorder. 

So what’s this post all about, well I’m trying to branch out, stop so being so closed in my bubble. If I’m honest don’t have many friends. Right here I’m opening up, it’s hard to do, but I’m learning that it’s ok to express yourself no matter the situation. I would love to have group of friends/friend I just chill with, go out with, but also be aware of my fatigue, high pain from my illnesses, non epileptic seizures, that I will need breaks, you may have to repeat yourself couple times as don’t always hold information in, find it hard. Just be understanding, be prepared to be cancelled on when feeling extra poorly, or just isn’t physically or even mentally possible. I know I sound a treat, don’t I, but I never do it out of spite, don’t be offended, it’s not you, it’s me. I couldn’t resist the cheesy line, but it’s true. 

If you home person great, if you go out out but it’s like once and while great, day trips, little weekend trips, not that I have the money mind you. I know must be bloggers out there, who’s loners maybe, don’t get to socialise due to their job perhaps, or disabled like me, before you say there’s groups out there, I know. But when you wanna picture stuff, or someone take pic of you, it’s like what, why, blog, what’s a blog… My poor partner has to put up with it, who thankfully does take good pics, lucky his not like click done, positioning, location, lighting, yep…

Who’s up for it? Chats, hanging out, outings. Just posting this, has my anxiety going crazy, but I’m trying to tackle it better. Hope there’s a response. Comment in comment section, email me that’s in my All about me section, tweet me, instagram, so can find me on my social medias (that’s on the side bar). If you know someone who might be interested, forward the blog post to them, sharing is caring. Xx

PS I don’t know much about make up, or fashion trends, all the designers, skin care expert, more of ya general lady, if that still ok with you, contact away.. 

Why Am I In Hospital

If you follow me on social media or regular follower of my blog, you would of noticed me saying I am inpatient at a hospital, nothing more, well the truth is I am in rehabilitation programme for functional neurological disorder. Now you thinking what’s that, other names short abbreviations NEAD (non epileptic attack disorder), dissociative seizures. The worst names for it, which I personally hate pseudoseizures which my local hospital called it. Not until went to specialist hospital I got diagnosed with the real term, the one that actually makes sense, doesn’t make you feel like going crazy, that should be sectioned. So many years of being told you crazy, yes I’ve been told that, not being dramatic, and the next one always got from my local hospital just cope with it, no information how to live with it, just deal with it. So many years of missed information, no education about it. 

Then a Central London came to my rescue, listened to me. After my old GP’s fighting for me, as they knew I wasn’t crazy, wasn’t making it up, putting it on. It’s unfortunate had to get so bad, to the point impacts my daily life, here I am. So what it is still wondering, tell us Lucy. It’s not caused by epilepsy/tumour/damage to the brain. So for whatever reasons the messages from our brain to our body (vice versa) doesn’t read correctly, miscommunication. Our body goes into panic mode, and our body shuts off. Is the best way I can explain without getting complicated, going all deep. There are many symptoms, long list. So imagine not being able to control your own body even though mentally telling it to stop. Scary right?!

Right now I am currently in a programme to understand my functional neurological symptoms, education education education is the key, working with moods, anxiety, what triggers the attacks/episodes, coping mechanisms for it, educating you about fatigue as that plays huge part too. That’s like brief of it so far. As it’s full on programme, naturally get tired easily so you can only imagine. I’m shocking myself that I’m blogging, so yes there’s your answer why I’m in hospital, not for surgery, or an injury, it’s rehab for my FND. 

Hopefully me speaking about it on here, will help people understand more, those who have it, feel like there’s someone else like you out there, as can be lonely isolated world, as it’s not none out there in the public. I will speak about it more. 

Ps yes the seizures can look like epilepsy ones, that’s why it can be easily misdiagnosed. And can still do damage like one. I discuss about that in separate post. 

Thank you to those who been asking, if you haven’t but wondered above is your answer. Xx

Day Date- Outfit Of The day


Finally doing outfit post, how long has it been, too long. Far too long. As I type this, I am currently in hospital, no surgery or anything like that, I be doing separate blog post about that, but don’t be alarmed I’m ok. Sorry limited details on the clothes, as the trousers was from TK MAXX years ago, my top was Christmas present couple years ago, my hello kitty brooch got many moons ago, the other custome jewellery I am wearing gifts from sister, partner, and friend. I know not the ideal outfit post when it’s not in shops anymore, as you can tell I am out of the loop of fashion blogging, haha. I wanted to capture this moment because actually had make up on, and I was feeling my look, truly honest, we all mates here. It’s rare thing for me to have full face, my full face make up doesn’t consist of foundation, highlighter, I’m more basic, bronzer, blusher, eyebrows, mascara and eyeshadow. That’s even more rare foundation, I am more your mascara lipstick, oh eyebrows too, not always, type of girl on average. Then you see back to back of pics of me fully glam, wondering I thought she said she doesn’t do that, well right now I am not, I assure you. 

May of noticed my hair, it’s grown, that be separate blog post all about my update since the big chop. For now let’s get back to the outfit, and until posted it up, see it on my screen, didn’t realise there was so much boob cleavage going on, if (real not fake) saggy boobs offend you sorry but not sorry. Enjoyed day out in Central London, and got my poor partner to find location where it was actually quiet, I know impossible right on nice day (weather wise) on a Saturday. 

Go me for actually doing outfit post, I know you guys missed my face, how can you not? Joking not joking not….
 

FIVE GUYS- My First Time

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This is going to get me into trouble, but here goes. After years of hearing about this place, the hype, more and more opening up in London. If you follow my blog you know I moved this year, now transportation is more easier, better forms of transport where I am Β so now it means can explore more when it’s possible. Finally tick on my burger list, yes I have burger list, this was on my list. We went to the Charing Cross one, literally right near the station, flat ground so could get in there with my wheelchair, however the layout wasn’t catered for wheelchair user, we found it hard to move around, there wasn’t anywhere for us to sit and eat, busy (I know it’s always busy, another reason why not been yet, as the queue be ridiculous and I’m inpatient, if I’m honest my anxiety goes bit crazy with the chaos, crowds sometimes), being inside, it’s like typical fast food joint, fast pace. A lot of time my wheelchair got in the way, was hard for my partner to turn me around, the seating area was impossible for us, couldn’t get to the second area of seating due to the steps, not dissing the place for that bit, just wished they thought more about wheelchair users, space wise, all the sit around table was taken, the only bit was the high eating table, so opted out eating there, instead we went to Trafalgar Square watched the world go by, something we like doing, just chilling, soaking up the city.

So why am I going to get into trouble, well honestly don’t think it’s worth the money, when I saw the bill, it took me back, you must be thinking didn’t you see the cost on the board, well one couldn’t see it (I don’t wear my glasses everywhere I go) and two like I said earlier it’s fast paced so don’t get time to really add it up, as you move onto next section, collection point. It was more greasy than thought it be, don’t ask what I was expecting, but reminded us of better version of McDonalds, that isn’t throwing shade, as the chips was nice, enjoyed them, but the price, when spending that type of money I expect gourmet burgers for that not that. Yeah it’s a tick off the list, I’m glad I tried it, I enjoyed the meal, the price for me killed it, that’s my opinion. Plus there’s still more on my burger list I need to try, yes I love a good burger, yes I know the calories blah blah I’m not eating it on weekly basis, I’m not that bad. What’s your views? Is it just me who feels that way…

There will be outfit post, to follow at later date. Without my jacket, as this was later on in the day, got cold.

Is there any favourite burger places in London, I should know about, that might be secret gem, new restaurant etc. Let me know in the comment section.

 

 

Day Out: Surrey County Show/Dog Festival

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A classic bank holiday weekend involves bit of family time, well in my case my partner and the pets. Something we like going too, where we could actually bring the dog with us, however having a dog that likes going at full speed, barking at other dogs at the dog show, yes totally embarrassing. But Holly did get a lot of attention, due to on/off light rain Β it was hard take more pics as I was busy trying to not get my hair wet. Also wasn’t feeling well, so I actually surprised myself being out despite the huge pain I was in, the determination to enjoy the day took over, but as soon as we got in, hot water bottle, rest. Now back to the actual day, what is Surrey County Show, it’s two days at Lloyds Park (Croydon), we went on Monday (29th May), there is a entry fee, as I am disabled paid slightly less, and my partner went free as my carer. It was thanks to leaflet posting through my door. It involves Surrey Farm animals, tasty food stalls, homemade goods, dog stalls, dance show, stunt shows, kids area to play magic shows with dogs, dog competitions, reptile display, information on adopting/fostering dog, as well as helper dogs. I enjoyed it as it’s great seeing many different breeds of dogs in one place, it’s just nice community family feel to it. Seeing the performances, of course getting to pet the the animals as who doesn’t like that, come on. And food, plenty of it, sampling different foods, as well as buying, we ate good that day, which spread out onto next couple of days. Sorry didn’t do food haul, as one or two things got squashed on the journey home, oops. Yes that warm fresh donut you see in the pic, went down a treat πŸ˜‰

This was our second time going, as we went last year, so it already feels likes a tradition of ours, even if Holly likes to get fussed by EVERYONE and follow them when they leave, yes. Needless to say I wasn’t the only one exhausted after the day out, the dog was laid out when home, partner exhausted after pushing me about, and Holly pulling everywhere. It was lovely family day out, and hope to go again next year.

 

 

BOOBS

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You must be wondering why are there pics of bras, what’s going on. Well lately reality shows, even YouTubers boobs, uplifted boobs, fake boobs. Guess what I was one those people who wanted surgery when I was younger, if you follow my blog you know I recently moved, that meant going through a lot of stuff I’ve gathered over the many years, don’t ask why I still had old bras. Yes I was part of the tiny boob club, and now I’m part of the big boobs club, ask my family I wanted surgery when I was younger. Then out of nowhere my boobs grew in my twenties, from AA cup to C cup I thought wow, yes I’m loving this, then my boobs didn’t stop growing, no word of a lie. It was like my prayers was answered I have big boobs. But I didn’t know come with a price, all those cute bras I like, suddenly I couldn’t get, that lingerie shop you like doesn’t stock your size, and even sports bra ha, you suddenly realise your options are limited, when it comes to bras I like buying them from the shop, so I know it fits, never bothered with online shop, yes I know theres ones out there, but once again don’t get to test it out, see how it feels on me first. If I didn’t have saggy boobs you honestly would of thought I had boob job. The frustration I have now is finding bloody bras, affordable and in my tight budget. Sales sales sales Debenhams, Marks And Spencer’s are my go too. Why is it so bloody expensive for extra bit of material, I think the reason why I feel bit deflated is because my recent shop, was disaster couldn’t find bras anywhere in my size in my local town, the ones I saw couldn’t afford that was one of my go too stores as well. Trying on bralets I looked damn fool, it did knock my confidence like I can’t look cute, noticing gravity has taken it’s course now, even with big boobs was lucky wasn’t saggy until hit my 30’s notice the drop. I am curious in this day in age why there isn’t more options for big busted women in shops, why is it so damn expensive for decent big busted bra when you do find one, lack of selections as suppose to B cup bra. Having lived with small, medium and big, makes me wonder what size was I happiest at. And by no means do I dislike my boobs, just looking at my old bra to now where you can fit head in it, I never thought my boobs would grow so much at later stage like that to this extent. Before I end this post, don’t want you thinking I dislike small boobs, that they are disgusting, as I think females look great whatever their size of their boobs are, Β it was just my personal preference, and friend told me it’s a shame there wasn’t technique you was doing to get them bigger naturally, as you could of marketed that, I’m like I know, I wished, I think God got tired of me asking and went bam here you go, shut up don’t complain, but wish gave me the small print like shopping will become harder for starters, how was I meant to know. Here’s two melons, that also makes good cushion for my dog and partner, I said my dog first as she loves sleeping on me, and my partner second as he always makes joke that they could be a pillow. Sorry if this was a TMI blog post, restricted audience not for the guys, but I just fancied talking about boobs, why not, this is lifestyle blog after all, no holds barred. A trip down memory lane for me.

Ladies do you love your bust size?

PS If you wondering what bra size I am, it’s rude to ask a lady her bra size. πŸ˜›