Day Date- Outfit Of The day

Finally doing outfit post, how long has it been, too long. Far too long. As I type this, I am currently in hospital, no surgery or anything like that, I be doing separate blog post about that, but don’t be alarmed I’m ok. Sorry limited details on the clothes, as the trousers was from TK MAXX years ago, my top was Christmas present couple years ago, my hello kitty brooch got many moons ago, the other custome jewellery I am wearing gifts from sister, partner, and friend. I know not the ideal outfit post when it’s not in shops anymore, as you can tell I am out of the loop of fashion blogging, haha. I wanted to capture this moment because actually had make up on, and I was feeling my look, truly honest, we all mates here. It’s rare thing for me to have full face, my full face make up doesn’t consist of foundation, highlighter, I’m more basic, bronzer, blusher, eyebrows, mascara and eyeshadow. That’s even more rare foundation, I am more your mascara lipstick, oh eyebrows too, not always, type of girl on average. Then you see back to back of pics of me fully glam, wondering I thought she said she doesn’t do that, well right now I am not, I assure you. 

May of noticed my hair, it’s grown, that be separate blog post all about my update since the big chop. For now let’s get back to the outfit, and until posted it up, see it on my screen, didn’t realise there was so much boob cleavage going on, if (real not fake) saggy boobs offend you sorry but not sorry. Enjoyed day out in Central London, and got my poor partner to find location where it was actually quiet, I know impossible right on nice day (weather wise) on a Saturday. 

Go me for actually doing outfit post, I know you guys missed my face, how can you not? Joking not joking not….

FIVE GUYS- My First Time


This is going to get me into trouble, but here goes. After years of hearing about this place, the hype, more and more opening up in London. If you follow my blog you know I moved this year, now transportation is more easier, better forms of transport where I am  so now it means can explore more when it’s possible. Finally tick on my burger list, yes I have burger list, this was on my list. We went to the Charing Cross one, literally right near the station, flat ground so could get in there with my wheelchair, however the layout wasn’t catered for wheelchair user, we found it hard to move around, there wasn’t anywhere for us to sit and eat, busy (I know it’s always busy, another reason why not been yet, as the queue be ridiculous and I’m inpatient, if I’m honest my anxiety goes bit crazy with the chaos, crowds sometimes), being inside, it’s like typical fast food joint, fast pace. A lot of time my wheelchair got in the way, was hard for my partner to turn me around, the seating area was impossible for us, couldn’t get to the second area of seating due to the steps, not dissing the place for that bit, just wished they thought more about wheelchair users, space wise, all the sit around table was taken, the only bit was the high eating table, so opted out eating there, instead we went to Trafalgar Square watched the world go by, something we like doing, just chilling, soaking up the city.

So why am I going to get into trouble, well honestly don’t think it’s worth the money, when I saw the bill, it took me back, you must be thinking didn’t you see the cost on the board, well one couldn’t see it (I don’t wear my glasses everywhere I go) and two like I said earlier it’s fast paced so don’t get time to really add it up, as you move onto next section, collection point. It was more greasy than thought it be, don’t ask what I was expecting, but reminded us of better version of McDonalds, that isn’t throwing shade, as the chips was nice, enjoyed them, but the price, when spending that type of money I expect gourmet burgers for that not that. Yeah it’s a tick off the list, I’m glad I tried it, I enjoyed the meal, the price for me killed it, that’s my opinion. Plus there’s still more on my burger list I need to try, yes I love a good burger, yes I know the calories blah blah I’m not eating it on weekly basis, I’m not that bad. What’s your views? Is it just me who feels that way…

There will be outfit post, to follow at later date. Without my jacket, as this was later on in the day, got cold.

Is there any favourite burger places in London, I should know about, that might be secret gem, new restaurant etc. Let me know in the comment section.



Day Out: Surrey County Show/Dog Festival


A classic bank holiday weekend involves bit of family time, well in my case my partner and the pets. Something we like going too, where we could actually bring the dog with us, however having a dog that likes going at full speed, barking at other dogs at the dog show, yes totally embarrassing. But Holly did get a lot of attention, due to on/off light rain  it was hard take more pics as I was busy trying to not get my hair wet. Also wasn’t feeling well, so I actually surprised myself being out despite the huge pain I was in, the determination to enjoy the day took over, but as soon as we got in, hot water bottle, rest. Now back to the actual day, what is Surrey County Show, it’s two days at Lloyds Park (Croydon), we went on Monday (29th May), there is a entry fee, as I am disabled paid slightly less, and my partner went free as my carer. It was thanks to leaflet posting through my door. It involves Surrey Farm animals, tasty food stalls, homemade goods, dog stalls, dance show, stunt shows, kids area to play magic shows with dogs, dog competitions, reptile display, information on adopting/fostering dog, as well as helper dogs. I enjoyed it as it’s great seeing many different breeds of dogs in one place, it’s just nice community family feel to it. Seeing the performances, of course getting to pet the the animals as who doesn’t like that, come on. And food, plenty of it, sampling different foods, as well as buying, we ate good that day, which spread out onto next couple of days. Sorry didn’t do food haul, as one or two things got squashed on the journey home, oops. Yes that warm fresh donut you see in the pic, went down a treat 😉

This was our second time going, as we went last year, so it already feels likes a tradition of ours, even if Holly likes to get fussed by EVERYONE and follow them when they leave, yes. Needless to say I wasn’t the only one exhausted after the day out, the dog was laid out when home, partner exhausted after pushing me about, and Holly pulling everywhere. It was lovely family day out, and hope to go again next year.





You must be wondering why are there pics of bras, what’s going on. Well lately reality shows, even YouTubers boobs, uplifted boobs, fake boobs. Guess what I was one those people who wanted surgery when I was younger, if you follow my blog you know I recently moved, that meant going through a lot of stuff I’ve gathered over the many years, don’t ask why I still had old bras. Yes I was part of the tiny boob club, and now I’m part of the big boobs club, ask my family I wanted surgery when I was younger. Then out of nowhere my boobs grew in my twenties, from AA cup to C cup I thought wow, yes I’m loving this, then my boobs didn’t stop growing, no word of a lie. It was like my prayers was answered I have big boobs. But I didn’t know come with a price, all those cute bras I like, suddenly I couldn’t get, that lingerie shop you like doesn’t stock your size, and even sports bra ha, you suddenly realise your options are limited, when it comes to bras I like buying them from the shop, so I know it fits, never bothered with online shop, yes I know theres ones out there, but once again don’t get to test it out, see how it feels on me first. If I didn’t have saggy boobs you honestly would of thought I had boob job. The frustration I have now is finding bloody bras, affordable and in my tight budget. Sales sales sales Debenhams, Marks And Spencer’s are my go too. Why is it so bloody expensive for extra bit of material, I think the reason why I feel bit deflated is because my recent shop, was disaster couldn’t find bras anywhere in my size in my local town, the ones I saw couldn’t afford that was one of my go too stores as well. Trying on bralets I looked damn fool, it did knock my confidence like I can’t look cute, noticing gravity has taken it’s course now, even with big boobs was lucky wasn’t saggy until hit my 30’s notice the drop. I am curious in this day in age why there isn’t more options for big busted women in shops, why is it so damn expensive for decent big busted bra when you do find one, lack of selections as suppose to B cup bra. Having lived with small, medium and big, makes me wonder what size was I happiest at. And by no means do I dislike my boobs, just looking at my old bra to now where you can fit head in it, I never thought my boobs would grow so much at later stage like that to this extent. Before I end this post, don’t want you thinking I dislike small boobs, that they are disgusting, as I think females look great whatever their size of their boobs are,  it was just my personal preference, and friend told me it’s a shame there wasn’t technique you was doing to get them bigger naturally, as you could of marketed that, I’m like I know, I wished, I think God got tired of me asking and went bam here you go, shut up don’t complain, but wish gave me the small print like shopping will become harder for starters, how was I meant to know. Here’s two melons, that also makes good cushion for my dog and partner, I said my dog first as she loves sleeping on me, and my partner second as he always makes joke that they could be a pillow. Sorry if this was a TMI blog post, restricted audience not for the guys, but I just fancied talking about boobs, why not, this is lifestyle blog after all, no holds barred. A trip down memory lane for me.

Ladies do you love your bust size?

PS If you wondering what bra size I am, it’s rude to ask a lady her bra size. 😛


The Struggles 

Where do I begin, well this isn’t all roses and daises blog post, real life, no fairy dust, filter, or any pretence. So often online, we only see the great stuff on peoples social media, for me I don’t mind having a rant on my social media, as I am not someone who only puts out there the great things going on in my life. If I’m honest this year so far, has been very stressful, not just with living arrangements, if you been following my blog, if not check out this blog post explains all ‘Disabled And Robbed‘, I’ve had A LOT of appointments- doctors, hospitals, clinics, and trying to keep up with them, medications etc, with other things. So many changes, if anyone knows me I don’t do well with changes , for example different GP the one I had before previous property I was with them for 10 years, I had history with them, it was thanks to doctor (since retired many years ago) who pushed fight for me to get diagnosed, pushed for Central London hospitals to take me on, from there actually got the right help. Other doctors (whom retired too) built bond with, then my other doctors too, as if not gathered by now, I do have to visit the doctor fair amount, at times. Now I’m right at beginning, feels weird the GP not knowing me. Like even when I had specialist consultant for many years, when that ended, felt like a relationship broke up. Like even my carers have changed this year, previous carer had for a year, so lot has changed for me. And it’s a lot.

And I know I’m slacking in blog content, I just can’t fake it, as have ideas, stuff want to do on here, but you know what just not been right head space, and energy. As my little bit  energy has been needed elsewhere, just little problems here and there, nothing life threatening, so don’t worry. I think battling with mental health as well as physical health,  things can get blurred, and it can be massive cluster fuck. It’s something I want to speak more on, in separate blog post. The struggles, battling with so many elements. So many perfect images of lifestyles out there, people forget theres other images, pain, hurt, fatigue, lost, lonely to name a few. So open your eyes to different things, I know we all like to escape when low, but sometimes hearing someone else feels the same can mean great deal, knowing hey I don’t have my life all together, yeah not all of us, have careers, or have a car, can only afford to shop in charity shops, Primark, TK Max, discount shops, or when high street shops doing massive sales then you can buy from there, yeah don’t worry, we can’t all splurge, we exist too, and please don’t see this as I’m bashing those who can, I’m just saying theres other sides to the blogging world and you know what there’s part for everyone.

Yes the struggle is real, and it’s ok. You are not alone.


Restless Leg Syndrome


Image is from channel five website

Not sure if I’ve spoken about this or not, I suffer with restless leg syndrome just one of the things on my list of diagnoses. There was documentary about this last week, which I just knew I had to watch as I am sufferer of this, it’s nice to see things on TV that I can relate too. Although it gave good insight into it, once again I found myself detached as someone who has chronic illnesses, one lady walks her dog for three hours and gardens I  can’t physically do that, to be honest majority what they were doing I can’t do, but the lack of the sleep, legs feet constantly moving yep I could relate too. I come with pre warning now when you share a bed with me, that I kick, I’ve hurt my mum, my partner, I get these episodes where they just move on their own accord, nothing I can do to stop it. Sadly in the process I’ve truly hurt loved ones, and seeing the next day you hurt someone isn’t good. Thankfully I have bigger bed, so more room, if I stay somewhere else if option is there to have my own bed, I’ll take it. For me when my restless leg syndrome is bad, I have to sleep with pillow in between my legs, to stop me from flipping around so much. There’s something about having this almost seems like a joke to people, one case in point, occupational therapist came to my home, this was years ago, asked what I had, so told him all of it, asked me what’s restless leg syndrome, I told him, he was like you doing work out while you sleep, must be great way to keep fit, no word of lie, then preceded to laugh, yep….. Very professional, I looked at him, with a not so funny face, confused, offended, and taken back, speechless. Yes because having a condition is laughing matter. It took years for me to be diagnosed, it took me going to sleep clinic to finally see why on earth was having sleep attacks, literally fall asleep standing up, walking, talking eating, I was that drained, my body needed time to rest. Put on medication for it, which thankfully calmed it down, then sadly got insomniac due to the side effects amongst other side effects, then changed again, which has given me more of balance, sadly with years of rubbish sleep pattern due to crappy loud neighbours, then again at the other flat, it’s hard, which didn’t help with my sleep, now it’s different, trying to break the pattern, now that I’m in different environment.

Speaking of restless leg, prime example last night, my body felt restless, my legs feet was doing that thing where you moving, stretching, screaming to me like this body needs to rest, but I couldn’t control the movement, it was like a battle, and that’s how restless leg is, but that’s how I feel on a daily with all the conditions. The problem is, it’s more common than you know, this condition, that’s why it’s worth a watch if you are in the UK, it’s on My5 (channel five website). With restless leg syndrome you can do serious damage to yourself, case in point, the guy in the pic has broken his bones due to it, another guy went to desperate measures just to control it, without giving the whole show away, thankfully for me it’s just cuts, bruises I get, oh and extra aches for my fibromyalgia, it’s like having fights and losing, my best description for it, can’t say woken up thinking that was good workout in the early am’s. The best leg workout, sign up now. Must bare in mind it’s different for everyone, treatment and all.

I’m not being paid or asked to promote this documentary, I just think it’s good to educate yourself, learn about it more, might know someone who has it, or you have it, I would say already know one has it, me!

I am fully aware not told you, exactly what restless leg syndrome is, I hope you use search section to look it up, watch the programme, so that way you learn about it, if gave it all away, might not want to go check it out for yourself. And by no means if you want to ask me something, more than happy to answer in the comment section.

Hope you have lovely week xx

Anxiety On The Rise


Dogs hairs and all on my tracksuit in the pic, with Holly gracing her presence, don’t you just love her floppy ears. Something that niggles at me, is how much anxiety gets exposure, but not always the full picture. How anxiety came form when someone is housebound, had a form of trauma, stressful jobs, peer pressure, family pressure, the list goes on..

For me, being disabled, chronically ill, having mental health there are so many levels you deal with. And for me it’s like when someone complains they have a cold/flu, you body is drained, mood is low for a week, and get back into action feel good again, well for me and so many others, we have no idea what pain free day is like anymore, we have to become accommodated to the pain, when theres flare ups/other health problems on top, our moods go into, what more stuff on top. Social media can be great having an outreach, but can also be a bitch, make you feel like missing out things. And by no means am I in the pity party oh worries me, as I’m typing this, I’m thankful I can type today without my hands clamming up, seizing. I want to bring awareness of anxiety from different point of view, by no means am I belittling someone who has it, doesn’t have chronic illness, as it’s still anxiety at the end of the day. But be aware of other reasons why someone has anxiety, just like a lot who suffers, going new places, heavily busy areas, meeting new people, for me it’s having new carers, not wanting a non epileptic seizure to happen in public, not over doing it, causing more pain upon myself, is there access to disabled toilet when I’m out, my journeys planned, etc etc. My anxiety started when I became seriously ill, housebound, months at time not leaving my home because I was bedridden, my whole life changed, from having social life, going to uni, living active life, to not been able to feed myself, go toilet on my own, had to be clothed and washed, so yes the outside world became distant memory, felt separated, as time went on, gained bit more strength but the damage had already been done, then throw in the non epileptic seizures in, nightmares with that, yes anxiety strikes up. I’m human. You think life is stressful enough right, bills, boring adult stuff, then you add in PAIN, it’s different for everybody. I just want anxiety to be the whole picture, not the fashion trend that every blogger has it, Youtubers that diagnoses themselves, I truly dislike that, always go to the doctors, don’t tell your wide audience about anxiety when you not even been diagnosed, however there are Youtubers out there, speak their truths, talk about being on meds for it and bloggers too. I do want to touch onto subjects on my blog, about mental and physical health more, as for some reason feel like under dog, need to represent for those who can’t speak, or might not want to blog or do videos, that I can voice just that tiny piece, of what we go through. Don’t worry anyone that speaks to me, I would never air your business, only blog about it if you wanted me too.

So you must be wondering why this pic for this topic, well I’m always abstract, it’s reminder to those anxiety can come in any shape or form, anxiety can even make people wheelchair bound, as consultants have told me, they have seen patients in wheelchair because of it, they do ask me am I, mine are for different reasons, nonetheless it’s about educating. If you think you might have anxiety, please visit a doctor, don’t be ashamed, get the right help, you need and deserve.

If you have any questions, or you want to share your own experience with me, just leave it in the comment section, or email me if you want it private. My email details are in my About Me section on my blog.

Right, I’m finally going to push the publish button, and yes get anxious about posting, will anybody see this post, putting myself out there, am I doing the right thing, so before I change my mind, here it is, ANXIETY, post!!!